Happy Friday!!

Things are getting a little less weepy around here! Not sure I'll ever be "used" to not seeing her but I am very happy not to see her so sick. It was a tough decision at the vet. I mean, I know it was the right decision but it was tough just saying the words. My vet was great. She certainly took the choice away from me and made sure I realized there really wasn't a choice. However, I did have choices on what to do next. You know, with her. As I am standing there in an emotional pile of tears, I had to decide what to DO with her. They politely laid out my choices and then left me alone to ponder. Choice ONE: cremation. And that choice had two options......keep her ashes or not keep her ashes. Choice TWO: The vet takes care of her. Choice THREE: bring her home to bury her. I struggled and really couldn't come up with an answer. Choice ONE....Now, I personally want to be cremated, so I thought logically that should be the direction I SHOULD go.......but I just couldn't come up with what in the HELL would I do with her ashes...........you know? She was an inside cat, so it's not like I could sprinkle her around her favorite spot!! THAT was under the desk in the playroom............not technically appropriate, right? And so then she's in a jar and on my shelf? or in a drawer? I mean, I just couldn't. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just couldn't get it to make sense to me. And besides, how do you really know that its HER ashes, right? ugh, anyway........... Choice TWO......My vet let me leave and told me I could just call her back with my decision. Which was great, I needed a little more time. And this was probably the most logical option. I had wonderful memories, and pictures I will cherish forever. As well as a clay paw print they made for me............So, pawprint, framed picture, lots of memories............Great choice. Choice THREE......The choice I went with. Well, the choice the hubby felt we should go with. And although we aren't in our "forever" home, which was my argument, it just felt right. So, the hubby picked her up from the vet, found a nice spot in our backyard and we had a private memorial.........it was very rainy and muddy..............but nice. And I feel more peace knowing that we did. I debated on whether the kids should see us do what we were doing but that sort of worked itself out. Brayden took a late nap and Emme watched a movie and didn't really ask what we were doing. I just didn't know if they should SEE it, you know? So, the hubby said his goodbyes, I said mine and added a few pictures of the kids with her and all was done. What did I tell the kids??? Well, after they realized that Nadia wasn't coming home from the vet, we talked alot about heaven. And just how wonderful heaven is and how happy and healthy she was now that she was in heaven. And what's in the back yard? her paw prints. We buried her "paw prints" cause she's in heaven. sniff sniff............